I recently completed my first air journey since our trip to Thailand. I was "randomly" selected at both my entry and exit point airports for the "special search." Normally I would not be too ruffled about this, I'm not carrying any lighters or knives or shoe explosives...maybe some knitting scissors and fearsome bamboo knitting needles with ridiculous green sock tip covers (they were the only ones available at the moment I needed them and are quite silly), but seriously I just try to be friendly and let them run that stupid sensor wand over me and go on my way.
I can't really think of the last time I beeped going through the metal detectors at an airport (which, as I recall was the only way to really get you pulled to the side and security super checked...long long ago), I do believe it was when I wore my overalls once and the metal clips at the top set them off. The overalls serve as a good indication of the time period...you know, some time in the early '90's.
oh dear, how things have changed.
Because my ticket had printed a special distinction they pulled me aside immediately and grabbed my bag for me. This woman comes over to me and as she's walking up I can see that she's donning rubber exam gloves. I'm trying to be friendly and make a passing joke about the rubber gloves, to which I received a cold glare and was told that they were "for her protection." Yikes.
Then I got the legal run down.
"Would you like a private room?"
Is that really necessary?
"We're required to ask, however, this is a fully clothed search."
Thank goodness for that. No I'll just stay right here in the public eye, thanks.
"I'm going to be patting you down in areas covered by your clothes and if required some areas that are covered by your undergarments, do you understand?"
Go for it.
Apparently the outside and inside of my arms and legs did not pose a significant threat, nor did my stomach...so we never really made to first base even.
And then there was the bag search...ah I love packs, no matter how many dozens of them that come through each day security staff always seem quite baffled by them. They can't quite figure out how to open them or where all the nooks and crannies are; so although my clothing and books were subject to search, my toiletries kit was never found (I think I may have been absconding with nail clippers...shhh don't tell--on second thought I think they're allowed now anyway). They can never get stuff back in right and usually just give in and let you do it, although she did try to let me leave without my camera and my boarding pass which would have been both annoying and awkward.